Lustiges

An Alberta farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door

"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."

The boy thought for a moment.
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad... once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."

His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggestion:
"Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try."
"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up; takes an almighty swing; .... and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law.
"Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!", says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?", asks Arthur.

"Can't remember."